Stay at home mom? That's not hard.

I don't have a "real" job.  I just stay at home all day watching tv, and messing around on the computer. At least that's what the phrase "stay at home mom" seems to imply.  Recently, someone claimed that if a stay at home mom's house wasn't pristine, and didn't have home cooked meals on the table all the time, that the moms were just lazy because she did it just fine.

Well, maybe. Or maybe I just don't cook.  I'm not a cook.  I hate cooking, touching raw food, and processing recipes in my brain enough to make it come out in a digestible manner.  Yet my kids are still alive, and thriving.  Go figure.

Also, I'm not overly ashamed to admit that my cousin and her two friends came over, and helped me sort out big chunks of my house a few months ago.  I needed the help.  I was sick for 3 months at the beginning of the year.  The year before I spent large chunks of time in the psycho-people hospital. Come to think of it, the year before I did too.  And I have too much crap. Speaking of recipes, that's one for total chaos.  So they came.  And they opened my world back up. And showed me that people are awesome.

But anyway, my house isn't as clean as it should be. I still have a lot of clutter, and I seem to have no organizational skills what so ever.  Sometimes I look around and think to myself "Whyyyyyy?", but then things like this morning happen, and I remember whyyyyyy.

I was doing fine until about 9am. Then I hear "Did you eat the rest of that cake?" .. I said "uh, no, when did we have cake?" .. I assumed Zac came out, and I hadn't heard him.

Nope. A voice. And even after I figured out it wasn't real, I argued with it.  Because I didn't eat any cake. I don't even like cake. And why should it care about my consumption (or lack thereof) of cake anyway?


It's frustrating. And tiring. By 9:30 I was ready to just go back to bed. Which I did for an hour and a half, and woke up wondering if I ate cake and just don't remember.


Real? no. Convincing? yes.


I am mentally exhausted, and I don't predict housework happening today.  And I'm pretty sure Chris will be eating a hotdog and some peas for supper.


I might even go back to bed until he gets home at 4.  You can call it "lazy" if you want to. I will continue to call it "hiding from my weird reality".