Dear Lyndsay's Parents,
I'm perfectly sane. The voices tell me so.
Love, Tace
Dear Lyndsay's Parents,
I made a baby from a do it yourself kit. (I used to get a Walmart discount.)
Love, Tace
Dear Lyndsay's Parents,
I'm wearing jeans. Normal people do that, right?
Love, Tace
Dear Lyndsay's Parents,
Santa Claus is coming to town. EIEIO. Get down, funky mamas.
Love, Tace
Dear Lyndsay's Parents,
I remembered to flush.
Love, Tace
Dear Lyndsay's Parents,
They couldn't even find enough substantial evidence.
Love, Tace
Dear Lyndsay's Parents,
Your
daughter joined my cult of her own free will. Go ahead, ask her.
She'll tell you exactly what I'm telling you now. Or at least she
should cuz damn, we musta rehearsed it for hours.
Love, Tace
Monday, September 30, 2013
Sunday, September 29, 2013
The story of love.
Here's the story of when I first told Zac I loved him.
"I accidentally told Z I loved him last night. I didn't mean to, I swear! We were at Pizza Hut, and we got a half pepperoni and half chicken supreme pizza - and his nasty ass toppings were touching my normal pieces!! So I said they must be segregated immediately. He called me a pizza nazi. I said Hey, I love ya, but not enough to let MY food taste like peppers!" He said I immediately got that deer-cought-in-headlights look, so he's like "what?" I was all Didn't you HEAR what I just said?? It was obviously a bigger deal for me than it was for him. He's been saying it since February. It took me over a year.. We joked about how the first time I said it, it was to insult his dinner. And the first time he said it, it was in the context of him calling me a freak. Ah. Fun times."
"I accidentally told Z I loved him last night. I didn't mean to, I swear! We were at Pizza Hut, and we got a half pepperoni and half chicken supreme pizza - and his nasty ass toppings were touching my normal pieces!! So I said they must be segregated immediately. He called me a pizza nazi. I said Hey, I love ya, but not enough to let MY food taste like peppers!" He said I immediately got that deer-cought-in-headlights look, so he's like "what?" I was all Didn't you HEAR what I just said?? It was obviously a bigger deal for me than it was for him. He's been saying it since February. It took me over a year.. We joked about how the first time I said it, it was to insult his dinner. And the first time he said it, it was in the context of him calling me a freak. Ah. Fun times."
Wanna read something depressing?
One night shortly after we moved, my sister and I took a walk through
the pasture. When we got behind the trees, it was pitch dark. I
suggested we turn back, but nothing ever scared her. We followed the
tree line to the back fence. At some point on the way back we were
laughing because we kept bumping into each other, and she said "We may as well be walking around with our eyes closed!"
So that's exactly what we did.
I remember that the pasture seemed endless with our eyes shut. In the dark, boundaries didn't exist.
I wonder if that's what it's like when you die. You close your eyes, and for the last time, boundaries disappear.
I was outside tonight. I stood with my eyes shut.
And then came in and tried not to cry.
But ever since all I can think about is how much I wanted to crawl in my grama's hospital bed and snuggle up against her when she died. And I know I would have too. Right in front of everyone. But I didn't for 2 reasons.
1. Her arms were still hooked up to IVs and monitors.
2. There wasn't room for my fat ass.
So that's exactly what we did.
I remember that the pasture seemed endless with our eyes shut. In the dark, boundaries didn't exist.
I wonder if that's what it's like when you die. You close your eyes, and for the last time, boundaries disappear.
I was outside tonight. I stood with my eyes shut.
And then came in and tried not to cry.
But ever since all I can think about is how much I wanted to crawl in my grama's hospital bed and snuggle up against her when she died. And I know I would have too. Right in front of everyone. But I didn't for 2 reasons.
1. Her arms were still hooked up to IVs and monitors.
2. There wasn't room for my fat ass.
But I *told* you..
Do you know what it's like to not be in control of your mind at all?
At least with meds I can somewhat predict the way it's gonna be. I
still can't so much DO anything about it, but it's nice to halfway
understand what's coming. If not just for me, for the people around me.
I can warn them. Not that they believe me anyway, but yeah.
It usually goes a little something like this-
*me warning them about xyz*
*them not believing anyone would think/do xyz*
*me doing xyz*
*them freaking out and calling me irrational because I did xyz*
Don't even get me started on non-existant bugs and bridge issues.
It usually goes a little something like this-
*me warning them about xyz*
*them not believing anyone would think/do xyz*
*me doing xyz*
*them freaking out and calling me irrational because I did xyz*
Don't even get me started on non-existant bugs and bridge issues.
Do you sleep?
"Do You Sleep?"
do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
do you sleep, do you count sheep anymore?
do you sleep anymore?
do you take plight on my tongue like lead?
do you fall gracefully into bed anymore?
i saw you as you walked across my room.
you looked out the window, you looked at the moon.
and you sat on the corner of my bed, and
you smoked with the ghost in the back of my head.
i don't know, and i don't care
if i ever will see you again.
i don't know, and i don't care
if i ever will be there.
do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
do you sleep, do you keep me anymore?
you kick my foot under the table,
i kick you back;
i can't say i'm able to
stand for you or
fall for you ever again.
wish for a perfect setting?
wishing that i am letting you
take me where you want me
all over again?
you can't give yourself absolutely to someone else.
i don't know, and i don't care
if i ever will see you again.
i don't know, and i don't care
if i ever will be there.
i saw you as you walked across my room.
you looked out the window, you looked at the moon.
and you sat on the corner of my bed, and
you smoked with the ghost in the back of my head.
do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
do you sleep, do you count sheep anymore?
do you sleep anymore?
i don't know, and i don't care if i ever will be there.
do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
do you sleep, do you count sheep anymore?
do you sleep anymore?
do you take plight on my tongue like lead?
do you fall gracefully into bed anymore?
i saw you as you walked across my room.
you looked out the window, you looked at the moon.
and you sat on the corner of my bed, and
you smoked with the ghost in the back of my head.
i don't know, and i don't care
if i ever will see you again.
i don't know, and i don't care
if i ever will be there.
do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
do you sleep, do you keep me anymore?
you kick my foot under the table,
i kick you back;
i can't say i'm able to
stand for you or
fall for you ever again.
wish for a perfect setting?
wishing that i am letting you
take me where you want me
all over again?
you can't give yourself absolutely to someone else.
i don't know, and i don't care
if i ever will see you again.
i don't know, and i don't care
if i ever will be there.
i saw you as you walked across my room.
you looked out the window, you looked at the moon.
and you sat on the corner of my bed, and
you smoked with the ghost in the back of my head.
do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
do you sleep, do you count sheep anymore?
do you sleep anymore?
i don't know, and i don't care if i ever will be there.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Way too early in the morning questions.
Random quesions. And yes, I'm too tired to go back and type the word questions correctly. So stick your answers in a comment, email or whatever.. Come on, humor me!?
1. Who are you?
2. Have we ever met?
3. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
4. Describe me in one word.
5. What reminds you of me?
6. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
7. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
9. Are you going to put this on your weblog and see what I say about you?
10. What do you love like a fat kid loves cake?
11. What makes you come back here?
1. Who are you?
2. Have we ever met?
3. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
4. Describe me in one word.
5. What reminds you of me?
6. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
7. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
9. Are you going to put this on your weblog and see what I say about you?
10. What do you love like a fat kid loves cake?
11. What makes you come back here?
Personality Disorder Test.
These were my results on Feb 19, 2004...
Take Free Personality Disorder Test
These are my results tonight...
Take Free Personality Disorder Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com
Personality Disorder Test Results
|
These are my results tonight...
Personality Disorder Test Results
|
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com
Extraordinary.
Extraordinary - Liz Phair
You think that I go home at night
Take off my clothes, turn out the lights
But I burn letters that I write to you, to make you love me
But I drive naked through the park
And run the stop sign in the dark
Stand in the street, yell out my heart
To make, to make you love me
I am extraordinary
If you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary
I am just your ordinary, average, everyday, sane, psycho, supergoddess
You may not believe in me
But I believe in you
So I still take the trash out
Does that make me too normal for you?
So dig a little deeper,
cause you still don't get it yet
See me lickin' my lips,
need a primitive fix
And I'll make, I'll make you love me
I am extraordinary
If you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary
I am just your ordinary, average, everyday, sane, psycho, supergoddess
See me jump through hoops for you
You stand there watching me performing
What exactly do you do?
Have you ever thought it's you that's boring?
Who the hell are you?
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Uninvited.
Yep. Sometimes it's just like this.
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate
Monday, September 23, 2013
Trip to the book fair.
Chris and I got in the car, and as we were pulling out of the driveway it started raining.
Me: "o/~ It's raining men..o/~
Chris: "Um mom? Where did you learn that song?"
Me: "It's a real song, I swear. I can find it on the internet so you can listen to it when we get home if you want."
Chris: "No, that's okay."
We shop at the book fair, stop at Glenwood Corners, and on to the post office.
Me: "I'm leaving the car running, so don't take off in it. And don't get abducted."
Chris: "Alright."
I get back in the car.
Chris: "I'm still here!"
Me: "Great! So you didn't get abducted?"
Chris: "Nope! And I still have all my body parts!"
He goes back to reading. I turn on the radio. It's quiet for awhile, and then all of a sudden he starts singing with perfect timing, completely in tune with the song, and with the heartfelt intensity matched only by the actual Van Halen..
Chris: "o/~ Love comes walkin in..o/~"
Me: "Where did you learn that song?"
Chris: "Mom. It's about aliens."
So I had to look up the words, but it indeed includes the words "alien", and "Milky Way".
Me: "o/~ It's raining men..o/~
Chris: "Um mom? Where did you learn that song?"
Me: "It's a real song, I swear. I can find it on the internet so you can listen to it when we get home if you want."
Chris: "No, that's okay."
We shop at the book fair, stop at Glenwood Corners, and on to the post office.
Me: "I'm leaving the car running, so don't take off in it. And don't get abducted."
Chris: "Alright."
I get back in the car.
Chris: "I'm still here!"
Me: "Great! So you didn't get abducted?"
Chris: "Nope! And I still have all my body parts!"
He goes back to reading. I turn on the radio. It's quiet for awhile, and then all of a sudden he starts singing with perfect timing, completely in tune with the song, and with the heartfelt intensity matched only by the actual Van Halen..
Chris: "o/~ Love comes walkin in..o/~"
Me: "Where did you learn that song?"
Chris: "Mom. It's about aliens."
So I had to look up the words, but it indeed includes the words "alien", and "Milky Way".
"Love Walks In"
Contact is all it takes
To change your life to lose your place in time
Contact! Asleep or awake
Coming around you may wake up to find
Questions deep within your eyes,
Things you've never realized
[Chorus:]
So when you sense a change
Nothing feels the same
All your dreams are strange, love comes walkin' in
Some kind of alien
Wait for the opening
Then simply pulls a string
Another world, some other time
You lay your sanity on the line
Familiar faces familiar sights
Reach back remember with all your might
Ohh there she stands in a silken gown
Silver lights shining down
[Chorus]
Love comes walkin' in
[Solo]
Sleep and dream is all I crave
I travel far across the Milky Way
To my master I become a slave
Til we meet again some other day
Where silence speaks as loud as war
And the earth returns to what it was before
[Chorus]
Love comes walkin' in
Contact is all it takes
To change your life to lose your place in time
Contact! Asleep or awake
Coming around you may wake up to find
Questions deep within your eyes,
Things you've never realized
[Chorus:]
So when you sense a change
Nothing feels the same
All your dreams are strange, love comes walkin' in
Some kind of alien
Wait for the opening
Then simply pulls a string
Another world, some other time
You lay your sanity on the line
Familiar faces familiar sights
Reach back remember with all your might
Ohh there she stands in a silken gown
Silver lights shining down
[Chorus]
Love comes walkin' in
[Solo]
Sleep and dream is all I crave
I travel far across the Milky Way
To my master I become a slave
Til we meet again some other day
Where silence speaks as loud as war
And the earth returns to what it was before
[Chorus]
Love comes walkin' in
I had to sign up for a new Pinterest account. So if anyone wants to follow me.. Um.. I have no idea how to hook that up, so yeah. Good luck with that! It claims to be "finding" my friends, but I'm pretty sure it's lying because nothing is loading to prove otherwise.
Some of you may have noticed that I changed the look of this blog. I was sick of pink, and fire rocks!
FIRE!
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
AKWARD.
*singing*
o/~ I love her the most. My mommy. No one, nowhere, no how can love her more than me, Chris. Mommmmmmy is the one I love best.o/~
Chris: "Mom, when the babies get here, I'm going to teach them how to love you best."
Me: "Great!"
Chris: "Did you start making any?"
Me: "Making any what?"
Chris: "The babies."
Me: (flustered) "Oh. Um, well.. no not yet"
Chris: "Why not?"
Me: "cuz mommy has her period" (I was caught completely off guard! and didn't have a chance to think it through..)
Chris: "What does that mean?"
Me: "It's just something that girls have."
Chris: "What does it do?"
Me: *sigh* "It's where you like bleed from down by your bottom."
Chris: "From where babies come out?"
Me: "Well yeah."
Chris: "And it just happens sometimes?"
Me: "Yep, every month.. but don't worry, only girls get it"
Chris: "Oh GOOD! I'm lucky then!"
Me: "Very."
Chris: "I just have one more question."
Me: *cringe* "What's that?"
Chris: "Will you make macaroni and cheese? That will really hit the spot!"
Me: "YES! Yes I will!"
Later..
Chris: "Mom? Are you sure only girls get those periods? Because when I was younger you told me only girls have boobs, but boys have them too, they're just not as pointy."
Me: "Really.."
Chris: "Yeah! I have nipples, see?"
Ah yes.. Quality alone time with my son..
o/~ I love her the most. My mommy. No one, nowhere, no how can love her more than me, Chris. Mommmmmmy is the one I love best.o/~
Chris: "Mom, when the babies get here, I'm going to teach them how to love you best."
Me: "Great!"
Chris: "Did you start making any?"
Me: "Making any what?"
Chris: "The babies."
Me: (flustered) "Oh. Um, well.. no not yet"
Chris: "Why not?"
Me: "cuz mommy has her period" (I was caught completely off guard! and didn't have a chance to think it through..)
Chris: "What does that mean?"
Me: "It's just something that girls have."
Chris: "What does it do?"
Me: *sigh* "It's where you like bleed from down by your bottom."
Chris: "From where babies come out?"
Me: "Well yeah."
Chris: "And it just happens sometimes?"
Me: "Yep, every month.. but don't worry, only girls get it"
Chris: "Oh GOOD! I'm lucky then!"
Me: "Very."
Chris: "I just have one more question."
Me: *cringe* "What's that?"
Chris: "Will you make macaroni and cheese? That will really hit the spot!"
Me: "YES! Yes I will!"
Later..
Chris: "Mom? Are you sure only girls get those periods? Because when I was younger you told me only girls have boobs, but boys have them too, they're just not as pointy."
Me: "Really.."
Chris: "Yeah! I have nipples, see?"
Ah yes.. Quality alone time with my son..
Thursday, September 19, 2013
..We danced all night to the best song ever!
I hate having songs stuck in my head. Other than my ring tone that I make myself play in my head at night to drone myself to sleep. But this song I just can't stop belting out.. Constantly.. since Holly stabbed it into my brain earlier today. I tried singing "the song that doesn't end" in a feeble, non-productive attempt to rid my mind of One Direction.. But yeah. FAIL.
I have 3 other posts started.. It's double karate night.. I just gave Brenna an "I love my mom" tattoo on her neck.. Really it's her own fault for not stopping me..
Today I got to the eye doctor..
Me: (to the lady at the desk) "I'm Stacy Breeden"
Lady: *looks at her schedule*
Me: "It's not the 20th, is it?"
Lady: *laughs* "Nope!"
Me: "Alright.. See you tomorrow!"
Granted the trip to Kearney wasn't a total loss because Zac gave me his card so I could stop at McDonald's. They got my order right on the FIRST try, AND gave me fresh fries!
WIN.
The Fur Real Friends monkey that moves is really creepy.
See ya after karate!
I have 3 other posts started.. It's double karate night.. I just gave Brenna an "I love my mom" tattoo on her neck.. Really it's her own fault for not stopping me..
Today I got to the eye doctor..
Me: (to the lady at the desk) "I'm Stacy Breeden"
Lady: *looks at her schedule*
Me: "It's not the 20th, is it?"
Lady: *laughs* "Nope!"
Me: "Alright.. See you tomorrow!"
Granted the trip to Kearney wasn't a total loss because Zac gave me his card so I could stop at McDonald's. They got my order right on the FIRST try, AND gave me fresh fries!
WIN.
The Fur Real Friends monkey that moves is really creepy.
See ya after karate!
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
I'm *that* mom..
You know, the one that sends her kids to school in wrinkled clothes..
..the one who's hair is always in a pony tail..
..the one who never wears anything but comfy clothes..
..the one who's not involved in the schools at all..
..the one who doesn't remember to ask about homework till nearly bedtime..
..the one who only makes her kids shower every other day..
..the one who lets her teenager dye her hair 100 different colors..
..the one who lets her son wear a ninja costume to a violin recital..
..the one who bribes her kids to get stuff done..
..the one who serves fruit roll ups for breakfast..
..the one who used to make her daughter write essays about how much she loves her when her daughter would be disrespectful..
..the one who just took pizza to the bathroom so her son could eat it while on the toilet..
..the one who is writing a blog instead of cleaning..
..the one who WILL clean, as soon as she gets up for more ice..
..the one who does a pretty good job of not cussing in front of her kids..
..the one who doesn't own a sewing machine, or an iron..
..the one who needs to make her kids clean out the car..
..the one who lived with her boyfriend for 8 years before getting married..
..the one who's kids were IN her wedding..
..the one who's crazy..
..the one who doesn't work..
..the one who lets her son play battle and zombie games..
..the one who hasn't freaked out about her daughter wanting a lip stud..
..the one who lets her daughter wander around town with her friends before youth group..
..the one who lets her 7 year old read books about ghosts and zombies..
..the one who's okay with not meeting a boy before her daughter dates him..
..the one who still hasn't taught her son how to ride a bike..
..the one who's son just sang her a song about how awesome she is..
..the one who has library books on a table that are over 2 months past due..
..the one who's a bad housekeeper..
..the one who relies on a dude in Iowa to tell her what the weather is going to be like because she doesn't watch the news..
..the one who spanks..
..the one who tries to always watch tball games from the comfort of her air conditioned vehicle..
..the one who just realized she hasn't dusted her ceiling fan since right before she gave birth to her son in 2006..
Yep, I'm that mom..
..the one who's hair is always in a pony tail..
..the one who never wears anything but comfy clothes..
..the one who's not involved in the schools at all..
..the one who doesn't remember to ask about homework till nearly bedtime..
..the one who only makes her kids shower every other day..
..the one who lets her teenager dye her hair 100 different colors..
..the one who lets her son wear a ninja costume to a violin recital..
..the one who bribes her kids to get stuff done..
..the one who serves fruit roll ups for breakfast..
..the one who used to make her daughter write essays about how much she loves her when her daughter would be disrespectful..
..the one who just took pizza to the bathroom so her son could eat it while on the toilet..
..the one who is writing a blog instead of cleaning..
..the one who WILL clean, as soon as she gets up for more ice..
..the one who does a pretty good job of not cussing in front of her kids..
..the one who doesn't own a sewing machine, or an iron..
..the one who needs to make her kids clean out the car..
..the one who lived with her boyfriend for 8 years before getting married..
..the one who's kids were IN her wedding..
..the one who's crazy..
..the one who doesn't work..
..the one who lets her son play battle and zombie games..
..the one who hasn't freaked out about her daughter wanting a lip stud..
..the one who lets her daughter wander around town with her friends before youth group..
..the one who lets her 7 year old read books about ghosts and zombies..
..the one who's okay with not meeting a boy before her daughter dates him..
..the one who still hasn't taught her son how to ride a bike..
..the one who's son just sang her a song about how awesome she is..
..the one who has library books on a table that are over 2 months past due..
..the one who's a bad housekeeper..
..the one who relies on a dude in Iowa to tell her what the weather is going to be like because she doesn't watch the news..
..the one who spanks..
..the one who tries to always watch tball games from the comfort of her air conditioned vehicle..
..the one who just realized she hasn't dusted her ceiling fan since right before she gave birth to her son in 2006..
Yep, I'm that mom..
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Parenting. Stacy Style.
Me: "There's nowhere in the parenting handbook that says I have to be fair."
Bre: "I think they added it in the revised version."
And then she took a drink of MY pop! So I hit her for a slug bug. That's right girlie, no hit backs!
A few minutes ago I asked Chris if he changed his underwear. He said yes. So of course my follow up is "Really? Are you sure they don't smell like butt?" Then he spent the next 5 minutes or so trying to make me smell his butt.
On the way home from karate Brenna was eating a hamburger. When she started to take a bite I smooshed it in her face and yelled "YUMMY!"
The other night Chris came to me from his room..
C: "I heard a noise."
Me: "It was probably a monster."
C: *small giggle* "I didn't see a monster."
Me: "That's because he's invisible."
C: "Are you kidding?"
Me: "What do you think?"
C: "I know I heard a noise."
Me: "Hmm. That's weird. Usually monsters don't make any noise while you're awake. They hide and wait for you to fall asleep, so they can eat your face."
Once when Brenna was little.. like still in a car seat.. She was in the back seat with John, and she was being HORRID. I reached back to pinch her leg, but pinched John's instead. Oops. I told him it was a preventative strike for the next time he was naughty.
"Dear Lord, Please be with Chris tonight as he sleeps in his own room because he's now a big boy. Help him fall asleep quickly and easily. Give him only good dreams about how beautiful and skinny his mother is, and about how wonderfully awesome and talented she is on Tuesdays. Keep all the ghosts and monsters conveniently contained in his big sister's room because she'll be too busy texting to really notice anyway. Let him fall asleep with the hope he'll get to take the Kindle on the bus tomorrow, but also the knowledge that it will never happen. Please make sure he has a good, deep and satisfying sleep, so he will not be crabby and impossible for his poor, tired mommy in the morning. Thank you. Amen."
Bre: "Peaseeeeeee she shall be my puppy and I shall love her and squeeze her and call her George (just kidding, I won't name her George) but if she was my doggy I would take care of her. Seriously. This would be my doggy. Only my doggy. I'll even work for some of the money or all or it or something. It's the perfect opportunity for a new puppy mom! And I will love it forever because chihuahuas always stay little and cute!"
Me: "Kayla's little."
Bre: "And I love her. But she's not mine. And this would be my doggy forever and ever and we shall play and I shall love her and I shall snuggle with her and she shall be mine! And my doggy will love me!
Me: "Maybe.. Or she might only love me cuz I'm home with her all day brainwashing her."
Bre: "Don't do that to my doggy!"
"Brenna, don't talk with your mouth open!"
"If you wanna stay home from school, you should at least act sick."
"No, you may not eat the garnish off of the floor."
"I told you if you poured a bunch of salt in your water that you'd have to drink it."
I'm pretty sure all moms make their daughters pluck their beard hairs for them.
I taught my daughter to do somersaults on demand as soon as she could stand. Something that came back to bite me when my friend yelled out "somersault!" while Brenna was in a wading pool. Feel free to think that one through. I'm headed to bed :)
Bre: "I think they added it in the revised version."
And then she took a drink of MY pop! So I hit her for a slug bug. That's right girlie, no hit backs!
A few minutes ago I asked Chris if he changed his underwear. He said yes. So of course my follow up is "Really? Are you sure they don't smell like butt?" Then he spent the next 5 minutes or so trying to make me smell his butt.
On the way home from karate Brenna was eating a hamburger. When she started to take a bite I smooshed it in her face and yelled "YUMMY!"
The other night Chris came to me from his room..
C: "I heard a noise."
Me: "It was probably a monster."
C: *small giggle* "I didn't see a monster."
Me: "That's because he's invisible."
C: "Are you kidding?"
Me: "What do you think?"
C: "I know I heard a noise."
Me: "Hmm. That's weird. Usually monsters don't make any noise while you're awake. They hide and wait for you to fall asleep, so they can eat your face."
Once when Brenna was little.. like still in a car seat.. She was in the back seat with John, and she was being HORRID. I reached back to pinch her leg, but pinched John's instead. Oops. I told him it was a preventative strike for the next time he was naughty.
"Dear Lord, Please be with Chris tonight as he sleeps in his own room because he's now a big boy. Help him fall asleep quickly and easily. Give him only good dreams about how beautiful and skinny his mother is, and about how wonderfully awesome and talented she is on Tuesdays. Keep all the ghosts and monsters conveniently contained in his big sister's room because she'll be too busy texting to really notice anyway. Let him fall asleep with the hope he'll get to take the Kindle on the bus tomorrow, but also the knowledge that it will never happen. Please make sure he has a good, deep and satisfying sleep, so he will not be crabby and impossible for his poor, tired mommy in the morning. Thank you. Amen."
Bre: "Peaseeeeeee she shall be my puppy and I shall love her and squeeze her and call her George (just kidding, I won't name her George) but if she was my doggy I would take care of her. Seriously. This would be my doggy. Only my doggy. I'll even work for some of the money or all or it or something. It's the perfect opportunity for a new puppy mom! And I will love it forever because chihuahuas always stay little and cute!"
Me: "Kayla's little."
Bre: "And I love her. But she's not mine. And this would be my doggy forever and ever and we shall play and I shall love her and I shall snuggle with her and she shall be mine! And my doggy will love me!
Me: "Maybe.. Or she might only love me cuz I'm home with her all day brainwashing her."
Bre: "Don't do that to my doggy!"
"Brenna, don't talk with your mouth open!"
"If you wanna stay home from school, you should at least act sick."
"No, you may not eat the garnish off of the floor."
"I told you if you poured a bunch of salt in your water that you'd have to drink it."
I'm pretty sure all moms make their daughters pluck their beard hairs for them.
I taught my daughter to do somersaults on demand as soon as she could stand. Something that came back to bite me when my friend yelled out "somersault!" while Brenna was in a wading pool. Feel free to think that one through. I'm headed to bed :)
Holly. AKA Sally.
I'd like to take this time to express how awesome my friend Holly is.
Thank you for listening :)
Thank you for listening :)
Well, we had a good run..
I've had my car for 3 or 4 years, and until today my windshield didn't have any cracks! Usually a week or 2 after I acquire a vehicle I get hit with a rock. So I'm pretty impressed with how long this one held out. Now I have a quarter sized knot in the middle of the window. Such a bummer.
It's time to start the countdown to baby makin' time. One more week!
It's double karate night. Such a long night.
My living room is total chaos. I'll deal with it tomorrow.
Well I guess I'm out of things to write.
Laters..
It's time to start the countdown to baby makin' time. One more week!
It's double karate night. Such a long night.
My living room is total chaos. I'll deal with it tomorrow.
Well I guess I'm out of things to write.
Laters..
Monday, September 9, 2013
It's gonna be 2014?
Aren't there like old sci-fi movies that take place in 2014? I feel like I've been gypped out of a hoverboard or something.
I'm thinking about what the year will bring, and it's all crazy!
1. Brenna will start her senior year.
2. Chris will start 3rd grade.
3. We may end up with a new baby.
So what else does next year hold for us? It's only 4 months away.
4. We'll have to install a new tub/shower.
5. Freddie will lose his nuts.
6. The 2nd Avatar movie will come out.
7. Maybe Shawna will get married?
8. Zac and I will celebrate our 2nd year of marriage. Our 11th year together.
9. I'm on track to make my way down to a weight that's *less* than I was in high school.
10. The Pig Roast will be on Kendra's birthday.
11. Paramount will release a new SpongeBob SquarePants movie.
12. Holly will become a hot, skinny grama!
I really thought I was going to be able to think of a ton of stuff that's happening next year, but I did not. And right now I'm too hot and miserable to care.
Laters!
I'm thinking about what the year will bring, and it's all crazy!
1. Brenna will start her senior year.
2. Chris will start 3rd grade.
3. We may end up with a new baby.
So what else does next year hold for us? It's only 4 months away.
4. We'll have to install a new tub/shower.
5. Freddie will lose his nuts.
6. The 2nd Avatar movie will come out.
7. Maybe Shawna will get married?
8. Zac and I will celebrate our 2nd year of marriage. Our 11th year together.
9. I'm on track to make my way down to a weight that's *less* than I was in high school.
10. The Pig Roast will be on Kendra's birthday.
11. Paramount will release a new SpongeBob SquarePants movie.
12. Holly will become a hot, skinny grama!
I really thought I was going to be able to think of a ton of stuff that's happening next year, but I did not. And right now I'm too hot and miserable to care.
Laters!
Friday, September 6, 2013
Long Day.
"Long Day"
It's sitting by the overcoat,
The second shelf, the note she wrote
That I can't bring myself to throw away
And also
Reach she said for no one else but you,
Cuz you won't turn away
When someone else is gone
I'm sorry 'bout the attitude
I need to give when I'm with you
But no one else would take this shit from me
And I'm so
Terrified of no one else but me
I'm here all the time
I won't go away
It's me, yeah I can't get myself to go away
It's me, and I can't get myself to go away
Oh God I shouldn't feel this way
Reach down your hand in your pocket
Pull out some hope for me
It's been a long day, always ain't that right
And no Lord your hand won't stop it
Just keep you trembling
It's been a long day, always ain't that right
Well I'm surprised that you'd believe
In any thing that comes from me
I didn't hear from you or from someone else
And you're so
Set in life man, a pisser they're waiting
Too damn bad you get so far so fast
So what, so long
It's sitting by the overcoat,
The second shelf, the note she wrote
That I can't bring myself to throw away
And also
Reach she said for no one else but you,
Cuz you won't turn away
When someone else is gone
I'm sorry 'bout the attitude
I need to give when I'm with you
But no one else would take this shit from me
And I'm so
Terrified of no one else but me
I'm here all the time
I won't go away
It's me, yeah I can't get myself to go away
It's me, and I can't get myself to go away
Oh God I shouldn't feel this way
Reach down your hand in your pocket
Pull out some hope for me
It's been a long day, always ain't that right
And no Lord your hand won't stop it
Just keep you trembling
It's been a long day, always ain't that right
Well I'm surprised that you'd believe
In any thing that comes from me
I didn't hear from you or from someone else
And you're so
Set in life man, a pisser they're waiting
Too damn bad you get so far so fast
So what, so long
Reach down your hand in your pocket
Pull out some hope for me
It's been a long day, always ain't that right
And no Lord your hand won't stop it
Just keep you trembling
It's been a long day, always ain't that right
It's me, yeah and I can't get myself to go away
It's me, yeah and I can't get myself to go away
Oh God I shouldn't feel this way
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
The lost remain.. well lost.
I've spent the last 3? days looking for a few people from my past. It really bugs me that I can't find them. The internet is full of retarded, useless information.. But when it comes to finding something as simple as an address, phone number or email address, it's nearly impossible.
I guess I feel a little bit like a stalker. Not enough like one to quit my search though. Some may call it obsession. I like to call it dedication?
Right now my only lead is that I happen to still have the address and phone number of one of them's sister. I called and left a message. We'll see what happens.
Other than that..
My eyes are starting to feel a bit better. Granted better than extremely horrible isn't saying a whole lot, but I'm still trying to be optimistic.
I'm having issues with eating lately. Things have taken a weird turn in the sanity department too. Nothing major, just a hiccup.
I'm trying to get letters caught up today. My mailbox is lonely.
My living room got fairly clean today. I need to vacuum though. And I suppose laundry has to happen tonight as well.
It's frozen pizza and macaroni and cheese night at the Breeden household. What are you having?
I guess I feel a little bit like a stalker. Not enough like one to quit my search though. Some may call it obsession. I like to call it dedication?
Right now my only lead is that I happen to still have the address and phone number of one of them's sister. I called and left a message. We'll see what happens.
Other than that..
My eyes are starting to feel a bit better. Granted better than extremely horrible isn't saying a whole lot, but I'm still trying to be optimistic.
I'm having issues with eating lately. Things have taken a weird turn in the sanity department too. Nothing major, just a hiccup.
I'm trying to get letters caught up today. My mailbox is lonely.
My living room got fairly clean today. I need to vacuum though. And I suppose laundry has to happen tonight as well.
It's frozen pizza and macaroni and cheese night at the Breeden household. What are you having?
Monday, September 2, 2013
Happy 100..
This is my 100th post! yay..
I've spent a good chunk of my day looking up my doctors online looking for reviews etc. Apparently no one else goes to my doctors and/or counselors. At least not opinionated chatty people.
I also stumbled on one of my ex's wife's Facebook page. She looks about how I expected her to look.
And then I read his old online diary around the time we broke up. It's all about how he couldn't get serious with someone again. And then he got married.
Am I bitter? Always. It's in my nature? It would be the 2nd boyfriend that ended in the exact same way. In a row, even.
Granted, one of them is still awesome.
I have what I've always wanted now though. Someone I love who loves me back. Forever.
Too bad he's stuck with me!
*evil laughter*
I've spent a good chunk of my day looking up my doctors online looking for reviews etc. Apparently no one else goes to my doctors and/or counselors. At least not opinionated chatty people.
I also stumbled on one of my ex's wife's Facebook page. She looks about how I expected her to look.
And then I read his old online diary around the time we broke up. It's all about how he couldn't get serious with someone again. And then he got married.
Am I bitter? Always. It's in my nature? It would be the 2nd boyfriend that ended in the exact same way. In a row, even.
Granted, one of them is still awesome.
I have what I've always wanted now though. Someone I love who loves me back. Forever.
Too bad he's stuck with me!
*evil laughter*
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