Did I speak too soon?

Ok, by now I should be an expert of discerning whether I'm depressed or just having a bad day.. but I'm not. I'm really worried that things are headed south again. Yesterday was just awful. I'm electing to get out of the house early today thinking that will help curb any issues right away. My house is overwhelming. My man is going back to work (hopefully) and leaving me alone all day and night. I got summoned for jury duty. I'm tired of getting up at 6am.. definitely ready for school to be over because of that.. My cousin, and pastor are moving in June.. Plus a couple of Brenna's friends are going too.. I don't do well with change.

I need to start over. I wish I could build my new house already. We drove around looking at ones we like yesterday. There are some really cool houses out there.

I lost medicaid. This could be really bad depending on what all medicare pays for. I don't know. I guess we'll find out.

I have weird black dots on my fingers. I'll bring them up to the doctor when I'm there in a couple weeks. I'll probably be covered in them by then.

I'm getting some help next week. I've had plans for it before, but it never works out.. so I'm skeptical.. But we'll see.. I'm still not sure what to do with my dogs and Zac during it. One dog I can catch, and put in the cage, but the other one I can't, and he'll just stand around and bark the whole time. Annoying.

Well, I suppose I'm done complaining for now. Here's to hoping today is better!

Betterness

Well ECTs are over.. I had to stop due to some slurring.. but I'm better now. The depression is gone too. Yippee.

Not much is going on. I'm in the mood to text lately.

I have to skip therapy because of the weather. Other schools are being cancelled, but ours isn't.. yet..

Yep, that's it.. I'm off to eat ramen noodles!

Married, for real

Well, I'm married. And glad it's over. And yeah. That's about all I have to say about it. Nothing changed but my name, and we're not going to discuss that.

We gave up on the having another baby idea when I completely freaked out when I went off my meds. This upsets me, but since no one will just have one for me, I'm out of (affordable) options.

I'm depressed enough in general for oodles of reasons.. the biggest of which I think has to do with having been off my meds, and gotten myself in a hole not even meds can dig me out of now that I'm back on them.

For this reason I'm going back in for more ECTs. My physical is on Monday, and hopefully they'll start shortly after that.

I am that desperate to stop crying.

Not really

So. Well. Let's see.

My mom keeps referring to my wedding dress as my "dream dress".. which isn't entirely true because my dream dress would be well, not a dress. I do like it though, and it was my favorite of all i saw.. but dream? not really.

I finally got my blood sugars back under 200. I've been really good about not over eating, but I haven't been exercising.. so is it under control? not really.

I'm fairly excited about the Spongebob Christmas special that comes on tonight. I'm jealous that my friend already saw it.

I'm having issues with my child support. Good issues, but I'm sure it will come back to bite me if I get my hopes up that it will continue being doubled.

Not having a living room light is kind of annoying. It makes getting Chris to wake up in the morning to get ready a pain in the butt. Do I want to spend money on a new light? not really.

I had to buy a new tire today. So next month Zac will make me buy another one, so the world doesn't implode in a fiery ball of "omg they're not equal".

I have to make 3 trips to Kearney today.

That's right. You heard me.

Island Nazi

Because Brenna owes me, she had to clean off the kitchen island.. which is the catch-all for everything that doesn't first get set on the table catch-all or the chair catch-all.. hehe.. So anyway, of course it was kind of a big job, and now that it's clean she's intent on keeping it clean.. Do not set anything on it! You have been warned.

It's almost Christmas time. Well I'm getting ahead of myself.. it's almost wedding time. Wait, first it's Spongebob Christmas Special time. Then we'll worry about the other times.  Tonight is Santa and Fire Station night.

I haven't really done anything but shower and start laundry today, but I feel good about it anyway. I'm not tired, and not really dreading driving. My stomach thinks it's time to eat, but my blood sugar and weight think otherwise.

I'm anxious to try on my altered dress this week. I hope it gets done soon. I want to know how bad I'll look, so I can adjust my mentality accordingly.

We booked our hotel for the honeymoon yesterday. It was like half off, so yay! We aren't going anywhere exciting until summer, but it will be nice to get out of the house for awhile.

As for the wedding.. I still don't know how to get my make up done, and we're still not sure on the music.. but there will be beer and meat, and that's always a good time. I'll be in a skirt, and that should amuse those of you who aren't entertained by beer and meat..

I'm trying to stop popping my knuckles. It's hard.

Wish me luck.

$62 dollahs

I found my pants. Now I need a new motivation for doing all this laundry. It would help if I didn't have to put it away.

I'm finally posting vacation pictures. It's a lot easier now, so yay.

I'm sure that's why I waited so long.

Or maybe it's because I broke yet another laptop screen.

You decide.

Chris got up at 4am this morning.  I figured he would watch tv in the living room and fall back to sleep, but he was still up when I got up at 6 to get him ready. I bet he'll be tired tonight! I'm glad we don't have to do anything.

Except buy zest.

I think I'll drive through somewhere and get supper too since no part of me wants to cook what-so-ever.

Brenna owes me money.. and then owes me more money.. plus I get paid on the 2nd..

I get to pay bills with alllllll of it. Gag. I have $1.41 in my checking account.

It's not negative though! JUMP JUMP JUMP for joy!

Arrgh.

I *really* can't find my jean shorts. They're probably hiding from the cold weather.

I love cold weather.

I slept all day today.

I'm wearing ugly pants.

They were $1.95 at Kmart though, so I am not ashamed.

I have two 39 gallon bags (of the 4.5) of DVDs left to go through and put away. We need another shelf deal.

 I should go tend to my feet. They are screaming for attention.